A Truly Inclusive Community
It’s been four weeks since the Charge Conference at Grace UMC passed our covenant to be in ministry with LGBTQ+ individuals and families, allowing pastors to perform same-sex weddings, allowing the consideration of accepting LGBTQ+ clergy appointments and being open to various forms of ministry to support and show love to those who are LGBTQ+ in and around our community.
We, of the Gracious Reconcilers were pleased with the support and encouragement shown by our congregation in our affirmation of people who may not get that same support and encouragement and more importantly affirmation of their sexual orientation and gender identities in other church communities.
What comes next? I would expect that slowly we begin to get the word out that we are an affirming congregation. Along with that, the Gracious Reconcilers will begin to explore ways to do ministry with those who are LGBTQ+ and invite members of the congregation to join with us in reaching out to those most vulnerable in our communities. I don’t expect anything to happen overnight. In the worst case, perhaps we will lose a handful of members who do not agree with our covenant. In the best case, people will see that we are open to doing ministry in new ways and join with us in our mission: to make disciples of Jesus Christ.
I heard a sermon this morning about the fact that God often takes us the Roundabout Way through our trials and challenges. I believe that our reconciling team at Grace has taken the long way around from our beginnings in 2016 until now. It has been an interesting journey, sometimes rewarding and sometimes frustrating (think pandemic!) but to see this covenant written and confirmed first by the administrative council and then by the congregation, has been it’s own reward.
Is our work finished? Not by a long shot. It’s only the beginning and we will need ALL OF YOU to continue the work we have begun. Now is the time to invite your friends and family to worship at Grace UMC and be part of a Truly Inclusive Community Passionately Following Jesus Christ. Tell your neighbors, gay and straight allies that Grace UMC will welcome and affirm ALL people, regardless of who or where they are on life’s journey.
If through your personal experience, you have relationships with LGBTQ+ persons and would like to suggest a way to connect with the greater community, please reach out to me or another person on our team. OR BETTER YET, Join our team! The more the merrier!
Thank you for your love and support over the past 6 1/2 years!
Peace and Grace to you in the name of God, our Heavenly Father, our Savior Jesus Christ, and our counselor the Holy Spirit
Merryl Dietz
July 24, 2022
Out of Exodus
There is a new film just released this week on Netflix called “Pray Away.” I watched it today and was overwhelmed with sadness for the 700,000 people in the US who have gone through some sort of so-called reparative therapy and have been deeply hurt and traumatized by its message - that there is something intrinsically wrong with them - so wrong that they must seek to deny the person they were created to be and live as someone they are not.
Exodus International had its origins in 1976 as a local church support group for Christians who found that they were attracted to people of their own gender. It soon grew to become the largest organization of its kind, with 250 local chapters in the US and Canada and 150 in 17 other countries. Their premise was that change was possible and they sought to “help people who wanted to limit (or get rid of) their homosexual desires.”
In 2012, Alan Chambers, president at the time, closed the ministry, saying that it was all wrong, change was not possible and apologized for the harm done to so many LGBTQ people. Many other leaders also dropped out feeling remorse for having been involved in the ministry, admitting that their same sex attractions had not changed, just their behavior.
Unfortunately, several of the leaders have gone on to form new organizations under different names and formats but with the same premise, that it is possible to be transformed from gay to straight. They claim that with the help of Jesus, gay and lesbian, bisexual and transgender people can be washed clean and healed as if being same sex attracted or transgender is a disorder or malady. (In 1973 the American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from their manual of mental illnesses)
This film chronicles the journeys of five prominent leaders in the Ex-gay movement, then and now. They talk about coming to realize that what they were involved in was a travesty and so very hurtful to so many vulnerable people. It follows their own personal journeys along the way.
The survivors (as they call themselves) of the Ex-gay movement have such heart wrenching stories to tell. What is most sad to me is that ‘well-meaning’ Christians, who thought they had all the answers about what God wanted, inflicted such pain on people to whom the Bible says we are supposed to show Love.
This should be a stern lesson to all of us. God had commanded us to love God and love our neighbor. Jesus did no harm to anyone and excluded no one. He showed love and compassion to all, even those who tried and ultimately succeeded in killing him.
Shouldn’t we do the same? I urge you to watch the film, “Pray Away” on Netflix. It may change your heart….
In Christ
Merryl Dietz
The Boundless Love of God
I started a new puzzle the other day. It’s a picture of a big red barn on which eight colorful quilts are painted. Usually when I start a puzzle, I separate all the straight edged and corner pieces and assemble the frame before doing anything else. This time though, since I was drawn to the colors and patterns of the quilts, I decided to work on each of them first and build the puzzle around them. It felt strange to approach the puzzle this way, but it was quite liberating actually. I felt free to work on the smaller bits and not worry about how they fit into the big picture right away.
It got me to thinking about the way we view God. Most of us have a pretty good idea about God’s boundaries, don’t we? All the rules and laws that we read about in the Bible keep us within the framework that we have become comfortable with. Rules that keep us coloring in the lines.
But what if we were to take a look at things from a different perspective, from God’s perspective? When God created the world, he began with nothing and started creating the world we know, one piece at a time, like the quilts on my puzzle.....(Stay with me here)
As plants and animals began to accumulate, the need for someone to have stewardship over it all arose and God created people. God then saw the need for the people to have some boundaries (because God loved them and wanted to protect them) so rules began to be put in place.
We tend to put God in the framework that we are comfortable with, but by doing so, we limit God’s power and love to that which we can understand. Rules and laws make us feel secure and they have a purpose but we do not find salvation and abundant life by following rules, we find it by following Jesus, who was the ultimate rule breaker. (John 4 - speaking to a Samaritan woman; Mark 3 - healing on the Sabbath; Mark 2 - eating with tax collectors; Matthew 8 - touching a leper; Luke 8 - healing an unclean woman who touched His robe) In all of these instances Jesus broke the rules and reached out with mercy to those who were marginalized because of who they were or what had happened to them. They were cast out by society but touched and transformed by Jesus’ love.
God so loves the world and desires that we love each other with that same love. The spirit of the law is love and if the rules we are following cause us to hurt each other, then its time to stop and say, “What would Jesus do?”
“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge — that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3:16-19
‘How wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.....’ We cannot put boundaries on God’s love. God’s love is boundless and it is not within our power to say who is in and who is out. What we are commanded to do is to show love to all and leave the rest up to Jesus.
Have a peace filled day,
In Christ,
Merryl
Pride: Sin or Gift?
”Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.” Proverbs 16:18
“God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6
It’s Pride month. All over the country, people who are LGBTQ+ And their allies are celebrating with parades, speeches, parties, rainbow flags and paraphernalia to commemorate the tipping point of the gay movement for recognition and respect following the Stonewall uprising in 1969. Read more about this here: https://www.history.com/news/stonewall-riots-timeline
A lot of Christians have trouble with the name of this, now official, holiday. After all, Pride is ‘the deadliest of all sins’ according to the Bible. But what if we were to look at Pride in a different way? Instead of being the opposite of humility, which God tells us is the way He wants us to live, what if we were to see it as the opposite of shame, which is what our society has imposed upon people who are different than the heteronormative majority for so long?
Pride, the opposite of humility, according to biblical wisdom has always been against God’s wishes for us as His people. If we are too proud of ourselves and our own accomplishments, we are not relying on Him for our strength. We are giving ourselves the credit that He, who created us, is due. Some say that all sin is derived from Pride - thinking that we are better, smarter or more important than God.
Yes, we ought to feel shame about things that we have done against God because of our pride. It is this shame that leads to repentance and salvation.
Shame in how we were created however, is not what God intends for us. King David, who certainly committed his share of sins born of pride, wrote this psalm about God’s love for him,
“You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.” Psalm 139: 1-6, 13,14
Does that sound like someone who is ashamed of who God created him to be?
For too many years, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people have been forced to live in fear and shame of how they were created. But it has been their fellow man who has imposed this upon them, not God. Because of the way they’ve been treated, many have turned away from God and away from the church. Because of the way they were forced to live in secret, many have turned to self-destructive lifestyles or worse, suicide.
So what does this mean for us as a church? When a person is shown love and acceptance for their God- gifted self, it can transform a life of guilt and shame into a life of joy. When we as Christians show love and acceptance to the ones that others turn away, we are following God’s commandments to love those He loves. Jesus never condemned anyone who was considered ‘a sinner’ but he was always calling out the self-righteous religious leaders, who were actually full of pride.
So, are some of these Pride celebrations a bit over the top? Sure, but so is St. Patricks Day in Boston and Marci Gras in New Orleans. Gay or straight, some folks take it to the extreme. And that can be scary, but we cannot condemn whole groups of people because of how a few act. It is only when we begin to look at each other as individuals, each with our own story, that we can see with the eyes of God and love each individual with God’s love.
“For God so loved the world, that He gave his only son,
that whoever believes in him shall have eternal life.
For God sent his son into the world, not to condemn the world but to save the world through him.
John 3:16-17
Who are we to condemn others and withhold the limitless power and love of God?
Let us instead, show affirmation and love to ALL God’s people and in doing so transform the world!
Peace In Christ,
Merryl
Summer Reading List
It’s been a while since I blogged! I’ve been in the process of moving into our new home and just haven’t had the time or the brain power...
Our study of TORN, however, has been a good one. We have one more session to go in Justin Lee’s book which tells of his experience of growing up in an Evangelical church and home and realizing that he is gay. He was torn between his desire to serve God and to be true to his own self, which leads him on a quest for answers as to what God wants him to do with his life - and whether God would sanction a love relationship with another man for him.
While coming ultimately to the conclusion that God would affirm same sex relationships, Justin acknowledges all along that some would not agree and his way of arguing both sides of the question make this book a really great read, no matter what your position is on the topic.
There are so many wonderful books that I have read over the past six years having to do with the challenge of being Christian and Gay. I’ll list some of them here so that you may add them to your summer reading list.
Walking the Bridgeless Canyon by Kathy Baldock
This epic book is an in depth study of LGBTQ treatment by the church including history, science, scripture, and politics. It explains in great detail how we got to where we are right now. I recommend it highly.
UnClobber: Rethinking Our Misuse of the Bible on Homosexuality by Colby Martin
This book pours out the compelling story of an evangelical pastor’s dealing with LGBT+ people from a biblical and compassionate framework. Along the way the author, who is not gay, loses his job and retains his integrity.
Changing our Mind by David Gushee
From his own careful Bible study, research, and prayer, Gushee takes us along an conversational theological journey. In one book, he concisely marks out every single component of historic Christian sexual morality. He covers all of the relevant biblical passages and all the theological positions, including the key argument of creation. With a careful study of context and biblical language, he walks us through a principled discussion that is respectful of traditionalists while calling for inclusion and the end of contempt.
God and The Gay Christian: The Biblical Case in Support of Same Sex Relationships by Matthew Vines
“Matthew Vines lives at an intersection of identities: a committed, theologically conservative Christian who also happens to be an out gay man. In offering both a scholarly and profoundly personal reconciliation of a duality often depicted as hopelessly at odds, he performs a public service that is valiant, hopeful and long overdue. He points the way forward for all those still stranded at the intersection.”
Well written, biblically based and compelling.
Risking Grace: Loving our gay family and friends like Jesus by Dave Jackson
In his own words....
“As someone who helped write a book advocating reparative therapy for gay people back in 1987, it was with gut-wrenching love that my wife and I did not let our daughter go when she came out 16 years ago. We first prayed that God would change her, then that he would work out his purpose in her life, and finally, “Lord, what are you trying to teach us?” God answered with insights that led me to write RISKING GRACE, Loving Our Gay Family and Friends Like Jesus.
It’s a father’s story about my agonizing personal journey of coming to realize that we evangelicals have lost our way when it comes to gay people by substituting a works/righteousness requirement for the clear Gospel message that salvation comes by grace through faith alone. I explore alternative interpretations to the “prohibitive texts,” but the main foundation for my change of heart is the life and ministry of Jesus, how he embraced marginalized people, and the way he and the early church dealt with difficult issues.
I share our story with you, our church family, because many of us have family members or friends who are gay, and we all need help learning how to love like Jesus. I’ve written with as much transparent vulnerability as I can, wrestling with the questions and presuppositions of the average straight dad (or mom) . . . who loves his daughter and his church but discovers that we have been driving gay people away from Jesus.”
Well, there are many more of course, but that should give you some good reading this summer.
If anyone would like to join our reconciling team of Gracious Reconcilers, we usually meet once a month on the third Tuesday on zoom at 7:30 pm.
Please email me @ merryldietz@verizon.net if you’re interested or would just like to attend to show your support.
Next Steps
Two weeks ago tonight, The Gracious Reconcilers hosted an event called “Telling Our Stories.”
Three guests joined us to share their personal experiences of what it was like to grow up in the church, loving Jesus, desiring to be Christians, but knowing that they were attracted to people of their own sex. Mark, Kaleigh and Danny were very open with their stories that night, answering questions to help their listeners begin to understand what it was like to be them.
Of course, as we learned, every persons story is unique and we must never assume that what we hear from one person who is gay, is the same thing that others experience.
The point of this event was to give us at Grace UMC a different perspective on how we think and what we believe about people who are gay or lesbian. (This night we did not touch on transgenderism)
Hopefully the 40+ people who listened to our guests, have all had time to mull over and think about the way these stories have informed their own beliefs about God’s love vs God’s judgement.
This week a group of us from the greater Grace community will embark on a study of a book by Justin Lee called TORN, Rescuing the Church from the Gay vs. Christian Debate. It is a personal account of how one young man, who’s nickname was God Boy, came to terms with his own sexual orientation and what he learned about God, himself and the Christian community.
These are the first two steps in our journey together as we seek to answer the question,
Will Grace UMC Wyckoff become accepting, welcoming and affirming of people of all sexual orientations and gender identities? I know that there are those of you who do not feel you are ready to take this step and that’s understandable, given what you’ve been taught to believe for so long. But I challenge you to put aside your long held beliefs and look instead at the people who are caught in the middle of this debate. Many of them are young people who grew up in this church.
I believe that we must ask ourselves some tough questions and examine the way we love the people whom God has placed in our lives.
If you are interested in this study please email merryldietz@verizon.net for the zoom link. It begins tonight May 4 at 7:30pm and will continue for the next five Tuesdays. The book is available on Amazon for a reasonable price. I hope you will take this journey with us.
In Christ
Merryl
Why Should We Care?
As I write this, I am looking forward to interviewing three amazing people who have dedicated their lives to Christ in different forms of ministry. One is a pastor, one is a lay minister and one is in music ministry. They all love Jesus, were brought up in the church and serve Christ in their lives. There is one other thing that these folks have in common. They are all gay. Tomorrow night we will hear their stories of growing up in a church that has historically rejected anyone who does not fit the norm of heterosexuality.
The church that I have belonged to for the past 33 years is near and dear to my heart. The people of Grace church are like family to me. I taught Sunday school, led youth Bible studies and youth group, I’ve sung in the choir and praise team, led women’s bible studies, and served on various committees. All of these things have been nourishing to my soul and have been ways to serve and bring Glory to God, but none of them have taken me out of my comfort zone, as Reconciling Ministry has.
The journey I am inviting you to join me on will take you out of your comfort zone. It certainly has not been an easy one for me. But it is one that will stretch you in ways that will nourish your soul and show you how big and how amazing our God is.
My journey began when our son told his father and me in the fall of 2014, that after struggling for six years, he had finally come to accept the fact that he is gay. Since then, I have come to know that between six and eight youth of Grace in the past ten years have also come to this realization. Some have stuck with their faith, sadly some have not.
These young people are the reason that I am ‘fighting for’ our church to become affirming of LGBTQ+ persons. We can no longer ignore the fact that these people exist and they are growing up in our families and in our churches. If we don’t embrace them for who they are, then we might as well shut the doors of our churches now, because young people such as these and their friends are leaving the church in droves because of their perception that it is not a safe and loving place anymore.
“We have lost too many opportunities to nurture and disciple young people. At a time when their hearts are so open and shareable, we sabotage any desire they may have to do kingdom work, by continuing to believe lies that drive them away. And not just our LGBTQ children but our straight children as well, for they have hearts for their LGBTQ friends, and they can spot our inconsistencies a mile away. God is inviting us to spiritually nurture and disciple our LGBTQ young people, to encourage them in the gifts God has given them to serve the church.” Sally Gray - Affirming, a Memoir of Faith, Sexuality and Staying in the Church
Will you join me on this journey of Faith to become the church that God desires us to be?
An inclusive church that welcomes and embraces ALL people for who they are, not for who we want them to be. A church that meets people where they are, as Jesus does, and loves them unconditionally and without an agenda.
This is the church that Grace UMC of Wyckoff can be -
An Inclusive Community that is Passionately Following Jesus Christ.
Join us tomorrow evening April 20th at 7:30 pm on zoom
Link found on
Reformation Through Love
Jesus was all about reformation of a religion that had gotten bogged down in rules and regulations that left no room for Grace. God came to earth to reform our way of thinking 2000+ years ago and God is still seeking to reform us today.
Is our Faith about following rules and laws or is it about loving the people that are around us?
Do we seek to stay on the straight and narrow, never venturing to the left or right so as to keep ourselves in a bubble? Or do we step off of the path to take the hand of someone who is in need, of food, of shelter, of recognition, of acceptance, of love?
(See Luke 10:25-37, parable of the Good Samaritan)
In his parable about the sheep and the goats, in Matthew’s gospel, Jesus described a King who separated his people into two groups, those who loved and those who loved not. To those who showed love he said,
‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’
To those who did not show love and were more interested in their own holiness, Jesus said,
‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ Then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?’ Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’ And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”
We live in a world where there is much judgement and condemnation of people who are ‘different.’ We, as Christians should be the ones to love unconditionally, but unfortunately we are often seen today as the ones who condemn and judge.
Our church needs another reformation; a re-forming of our principles and values. Jesus loves all people without respect to anything that divides by human standards. Isn’t it time we do the same?
Please join us on April 20th at 7:30pm on zoom as we listen to three special guests who have personal stories to share; stories that will touch us, that will challenge us, and hopefully will reform the way we think about how to love the people around us.
Have a blessed week,
In Christ,
Merryl Dietz
Telling Our Stories
I love to lose myself within a story, becoming one of the cast of characters the author has brought to life. Often, I am transported to a different time, culture or way of life. To learn what it is like to be someone else; to walk in their shoes and see the world from their perspective, is a gift that broadens my view of the God who created all things and all people.
Each one of us lives our own story. Should I tell the tale of my life, it would be uniquely mine, as different from yours as one snowflake is from another. And it’s important to tell our stories, not only so that others can hear them but so that our lives are affirmed in the telling.
“Telling our stories is not an end in itself, but an attempt to release ourselves from them, to evolve and grow beyond them. We tell our stories to transform ourselves; to learn about our history and tell our experiences to transcend them; to use our stories to make a difference in our world; to broaden our perspective to see further than normal; to act beyond a story that may have imprisoned or enslaved us; to live more of our spiritual and earthly potential.” - Rachel Freed
Listening to the stories of others is just as important. We never know what the person beside us is walking through until we take the time to listen to their story and really think about what they are saying; holding their truths tenderly, seeing life through their eyes. Listening has the ability to transform us, it can change our hearts toward whole groups of people simply by hearing their stories.
"My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." James 1:19
"Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you not look into his own interest, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:3-4
On April 20th at 7:30 pm you will have a unique opportunity to attend a night of storytelling via Zoom. We will be hosting three very special guests who have graciously agreed to tell their own stories about what it was like to grow up in the church, knowing that they were different, eventually coming to terms with the fact that they were gay.
I encourage you to put a reminder on your calendar and make sure to join us on that evening. You can simply listen in without video if you wish and/or ask questions in the chat. Zoom info will be made available closer to the date. Watch your email and this blog as well as the GUMC.org website or Grace United Methodist church facebook page.
Taking the time to listen to each other brings us closer to God’s heart. God’s desire is for us to be united in his love so that we can bring the story of the good news of Christ to all who don’t know him. We will be His witnesses to the ends of the earth!
Praise be to God!
Peace,
Merryl Dietz.
If you have questions about this event or questions to ask the panelists, email me at merryldietz@verizon.net
Sticks and Stones
“Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me!”
A childhood chant that many of us were taught to say when teased or attacked with hurtful words by well-meaning parents; but so far from the truth.....
Words matter and how we use them matter to the people on the receiving end of what we say.
When we use words to hurt or put down groups of people based on their differences from us, we cause harm and bear bad fruit. “The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” Luke 6:45
With that in mind, I would like to provide for us a glossary of acceptable words and phrases to educate, so that when we speak about people who are LGBTQ, we are able to do it with respect and grace. This is not an exhaustive list of terms but a good place to start.
Lesbian (Adj./N.)
A woman who is attracted exclusively (sexually, emotionally and romantically) to other women.
Gay (Adj.)
Attracted exclusively (sexually, emotionally and romantically) to the same gender. Historically used only for males, but increasingly used also for females.
Bisexual (Adj.)
Attracted to both males and females, but not necessarily at the same time, in the same way, or to the same degree.
Transgender (or Trans). (Adj.)
Describes a person whose internal sense of gender identity does not match the sex assigned or acknowledged at birth.
Queer/Nonstraight (Adj.)
Umbrella term referring to individuals who are not straight (exclusively attracted to the opposite gender) and/or who experience a level of discomfort with their birth gender. Queer is a formerly derogatory term that has been presently reclaimed as an empowering identifier.
Questioning. (Adj.)
Unsure of the exact nature of ones’ own gender identity and/or sexual identity, and thus unable to confidently identify by a particular sexuality/gender label in the present.
Intersex. (Adj.)
Having been born with biological sex characteristics (organs and genitalia) that do not correspond with the typical notions of male or female bodies.
Asexual. (Adj.)
Experiencing minimal to no sexual attraction to any other individuals. Asexual people can experience a range of romantic inclination, from none (aromantic) to some (gray-romantic) to full (romantic).
Ally. (N.)
A person who is not LGBTQ+ but who has progressive social, political, and/or theological view points and affirms the validity of others’ sexual orientations and gender identities.
Pansexual. (Adj.)
Attracted to people not limited by the people’s biological sex, gender, or identity. People who are pansexual do not view gender as limited to just male and female.
Genderqueer. (Adj.).
[Also: gender nonbinary, genderfluid, gender non-conforming, pan gender, androgynous, androgyne and two-spirit]
Not conforming to or identifying with typical notions of masculine or feminine appearance, roles, traits, or identity.
Gender Dysphoria. (N.)
The experience of distress associated with the incongruence wherein one’s psychological and emotional gender identity does not match one’s biological sex. Conversely, a person with no or low gender dysphoria is said to have gender coherence or gender congruence.
Transition. (N.)
A process of bringing one’s gender presentation and/or sex characteristics into accord with one’s internal sense of gender identity. May involve use of hormone therapy and/or surgery.
Homosexual (Adj./N.)
Outdated or offensive term to describe someone who is attracted to the same sex/gender.
Same-Sex Attraction (SSA)
A term used by people attracted to the same sex who are uncomfortable with their orientation and consider it to be sinful. They say they struggle with SSA.
Straight/Heterosexual. (Adj.)
Attracted exclusively (sexually, emotionally and romantically) to the opposite sex.
Cisgender. (Adj.)
Describes a person whose internal sense of gender identity corresponds with their birth sex.
Acceptance
An honest and full acknowledgement of the reality of a situation: a love toward someone as they are, not as one would like them to be.
Affirming
Going beyond acceptance to approve, support and encourage a person’s living authentically in their sexual orientation or gender identity.
Coming Out
When a person shares with other people their sexual orientation and/or gender identity. Originated from the phrase “coming out of the closet.”
Outed
When a person’s orientation or identity is revealed by another without their consent.
Homophobia/Transphobia
A fear of LGBTQ+ people that triggers thoughtful or hateful ideas about their personhood, intentions, faith, conduct and character. These attitudes often arise from not personally knowing anyone who is LGBTQ. They are typically based on inaccurate ideas leaning heavily on cultural stereotypes rather than on facts.
Have questions about any of these terms? I’m happy to talk with you about them. I’m not an expert but I’m happy to engage in a conversation! Also watch this space for info about coming events presented by Gracious Reconcilers.
Peace,
Merryl Dietz
February 24, 2021
What does the Lord require of us?
“With what shall I come before the LORD, and bow myself before God on high? Shall I come before him with burnt offerings, with calves a year old? Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams, with ten thousands of rivers of oil? Shall I give my first born for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul? He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:6-8
This prophet’s message to the nation of Israel was one of judgement and hope. Judgement of their sin, not only in turning away from God but also in the way they treated people who were not like them or of their fold. The hope he spoke of would come in the form of a savior born to a virgin to save them from their sin and show them the right way to live.
Micah’s admonition to act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with God would be Jesus’ way of life.
“Jesus leads with justice. Throughout the gospels, Jesus is constantly reaching out to both people regarded as immoral, or the people simply regarded as unclean”. Ray Low - Pastor www.leadwithjustice.com
Would that we might do the same. What does this kind of justice look like in our lives? How many groups of people do we consider not worthy of Jesus’ love and grace?
Many Christians today believe that they are acting justly in condemning those who are ‘sinners,’ specifically those who identify as LGBTQ, non-heteronormative, or as ‘Queer.’ They want to honor God and therefore cannot accept this group of people for the sake of upholding the Gospel. But that’s not how justice works in the eyes of God.
Pastor Ray Low writes, “Justice is about leveling the playing field for all to come and meet Jesus. It’s about upholding the inherent dignity and worth of Every person, as well as every person’s basic right to food, health, and shelter. It is only within that context of radical love that we can begin to see hearts transformed by the power of the gospel.”
The definition of mercy is ‘the compassionate or kindly forbearance shown toward another,’ and some biblical translations use the word kindness or compassion in place of mercy in this verse.
Jesus offered mercy at every turn to every person he came in contact with. He sought out the downtrodden and the outcast - those who the righteous people called ‘sinners.’ He was kind and compassionate to all, only turning his anger on the self-righteous religious leaders. Jesus imposed no faith requirements on the people he reached out to. In many cases, he was the instigator and sometimes those he touched eventually went their own way.
How is turning people away from our Christian church in any way related to the mercy and kindness Jesus offered?
“What a beautiful picture it would be if we abandoned our image and our need to be “right” all the time - and instead showed compassion to those who need it,” adds Pastor Ray Low.
“Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.” Romans 12:16
Without humility, our attempts at justice are nothing more than power plays, acting out of our own self-righteousness. When we put ourselves in charge of deciding who deserves God’s love and who deserves to be cast out from God’s kingdom, we become God in our own eyes. This is idolatry; a violation of the first commandment.
Let us aim to be people of God who create safe spaces for the outcast and downtrodden, becoming conduits of God’s grace and allowing all people to experience the redeeming love of Jesus Christ.
Peace,
Merryl Dietz
February 17, 2021
The Clothes We Wear
I don’t know about you but I have some trouble deciding what to wear during this pandemic. I mean, does it really matter what I wear when no one (except my dear husband) is going to see me? I have to say that I do take a shower every day, as opposed to some, who prefer to stay in their pj’s all day long, having nowhere to go:-). And each day I throw on a bit of make up and mascara just for kicks.
In his sermon this past Sunday, Pastor Brian spoke about the parable of the Wedding Banquet that Jesus told his disciples. You can find it in Matthew 22 and Luke 14. In this parable, Jesus compared the kingdom of God to a wedding feast, prepared by a loving king for his son. He sent his servants to call the invited guests to come to the banquet, but they all went their own way, refusing to attend, having found more important things to do. When the king then sent his servants back out into the streets to invite anyone they found that had not been initially invited, the banquet hall was filled with guests! However, there was one man who had not come prepared. He was wearing the wrong clothes.
In Colossians 3, Paul describes what is meant by wearing the right clothes for the kingdom - to put on Christ’s attributes, to be ‘clothed with Christ.’ We can show up as Christians dressed however we’d like - but over our jeans or best dress, we are called to wear compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience like a garment. As Christ forgives us our mistakes and misdeeds, we are to forgive others any grievances we may have against them. This is not a suggestion for Christian living. It is a command. We are to put on Love, which binds all these attributes together and live in peace with one another.
How do you think we as a church are doing so far? I would venture to say that we are not doing so well. The current generation views the church as “judgmental, bigoted, sheltered, right-wingers, hypocritical, insincere, and uncaring.” (David Kinnaman, Gabe Lyons in their book unChristian). “Outsiders say our hostility toward gays -not just opposition to homosexual politics and behaviors but disdain for gay individuals—has become virtually synonymous with the Christian faith.”
Being ‘clothed with Christ’ is really very simple. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. That’s what I was taught as a child. In Colossians 3 Paul emphasizes that we are all the same in the eyes of Christ, “there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all and is in all.”
When we, as God’s chosen people, make it difficult for others to come to Christ, we are not wearing the correct clothes for the wedding. By showing favoritism to one group of people over another, we are not living as Christ commands. Whenever we talk about others with rage, malice, slander and filthy language, we grieve God’s heart.
The prophet Micah laid out how we are to live, saying “He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:8
I’ll unpack that one next time. Until then, have a good week, and remember to dress warmly!
In Christ,
Merryl Dietz
February 10, 2021
The Bible is very clear…………or is it?
It’s Black History month. A month set aside to honor and celebrate the contributions of Black Americans in this country. It is well deserved for a people who have had to work hard to overcome the prejudices that the white folk of my generation and older have grown up with since childhood. Things have gotten better in the past 100 years but we are still a long way off from the day when people of all colors can look upon each other through the eyes of equality and love as fellow human beings.
When black people were first brought to this country, having been kidnapped from Africa, put on slave ships and bartered and sold to rich white people to work their land; their captors pointed to bible verses that clearly allowed slavery. They used the story of the curse of Ham in Genesis 9:18-27. Somehow, this narrative was twisted from it’s original meaning to prove that people with black skin (was Ham black??) were subhuman and when combined with text from the New Testament about slaves obeying their masters, (Ephesians 6:5-7) self-identified Christian slave traders and owners felt that they were right to lay claim to the lives other human beings. They could back it up with scripture.
For many years, the Jewish people were blamed for killing Jesus, basing their claims on scripture passages describing Jesus’ trial and crucifixion. “Such condemnations have plagued the Jewish people for the last two thousand years, acting as the fuel behind countless anti-Semitic atrocities throughout history.” - JewsforJesus.org
When European settlers discovered this continent, they assumed ownership of the land because of a doctrine stemming from the story of the taking of Canaan by the people of Israel. (Book of Joshua) The now Christian ‘chosen people’ as they thought of themselves, used scripture to justify their actions.
Rachel Held Evans wrote in her book, Inspired, “Any time the Bible is used to justify the oppression and exploitation of others, we have strayed far from the God who brought the people of Israel out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.”
Don’t get me wrong, I love reading scripture. But I believe that the Bible is to be read in context of when and by whom it was written. To use scripture to cause harm to any person or group of people is going against all that Jesus stood for and all that God commands us. (Mark 12:31)
Before we say, “The bible is very clear.....” we’d better look carefully at what we think is very clear and see if, in fact, it has not been taken out of context, translated incorrectly, or twisted to make it mean what we want it to mean. Our bible is a very complex collection of books with many authors and though as a whole it is revered as sacred, it has a history of misinterpretation for as long as it’s been in print.
So, lets read our bibles, let’s wrestle with what the text means for our lives today, read in the context of who it was written for and what was going on at the time. And let’s look at everything we read through the lens of Jesus’ love and the Grace offered to ALL people with his death and resurrection. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16.
Peace,
Merryl Dietz
Feb 2, 2021
Don’t Be Gay! What is Gay?
Justin Lee, author of TORN Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-Vs.-Christians Debate, writes of his experience in college as a tumultuous time of trying to fit in. He had struggled for years as a teen to banish the attractions to boys that he had felt since puberty, asking God to heal him of this and make him straight. In fact it took him a long time to finally admit to himself that the attraction his friends had for girls, just wasn’t in him at all. The Christians on campus who found out about his struggle with ‘same-sex attraction’ told him “Just don’t be gay, Justin!” And Justin wished it were that simple. But it isn’t, not at all. His book chronicles his journey and what he has learned about science, the ex-gay ministry, himself and what the Bible says and doesn’t say about Same-sex relationships.
So what does the word “Gay” mean? Justin found that the word has different definitions for different people. To most, the word gay means having an attraction or being attracted to people of one’s own gender. To others it means demonstrating sexual behavior, sometimes promiscuous, with people of one’s own gender due to the aforementioned attraction.
During the sexual revolution of the 1960’s, the media was full of images of young people exhibiting extravagant sexual freedom, both heterosexual and homosexual. I believe that that is what most older folks picture when they think of what it means to be gay. And that scares them. Even today the images of gay pride parades create fear in a lot of people because it is so out of their comfort zone.
The term “the gay lifestyle” is often thrown around as if all gay people live life in the same way.
Do all straight people live their lives in the same way? I would venture to say no to that one.
Likewise, there is no gay lifestyle. Are there gay people who are promiscuous and/or sexual predators? Yes, but the same goes for straight people. And I would bet that that number is higher.
Being attracted to people of one’s own gender is not a choice as people used to believe. It is also not a psychological malady, a result of childhood abuse or the result of a distant father and an overbearing mother as some people still believe. There has been and continues to be much scientific and genetic research into what makes a person gay. As of today, there is no one reason that we can point to and say ‘that’s it!’ There are theories about the amounts of hormonal exposure in the womb due to multiple studies that have been conducted, but unfortunately for the millions of gay people in our society and in our churches, there is no conclusive evidence. It would make it so much easier to be a gay person and especially a gay Christian, if there were proof that God made them that way. But just because we don’t have scientific proof, doesn’t mean it is not true.
Most gay people begin to realize they are different from other kids when they hit puberty. Some know earlier than that. Many try not to be gay, as Justin did, because they do not want to go against God’s will or they just don’t want to be different and made fun of. And for many, the idea of marriage and family is so much harder to envision.
It’s not a life that most would choose and not usually a life that’s full of happiness. Many young people are kicked out of their homes when they share with their parents about their orientation. It can be a life of harassment and bullying and exclusion.
Some never ‘come out’ to anyone until years later, after marrying someone from the opposite sex and making a mess out of two or more lives. Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among young people ages 10-24 and lesbian, gay and bisexual youth seriously contemplate suicide at almost three times the rate of heterosexual youth.
The so-called ‘culture war’ in which the church finds itself seems like a no-win situation as long as there is no attempt to put aside our preconceived beliefs about people who are different from us. On the other hand, if we try to listen more so as to understand each other, we can make strides to come together as one body, not dependent on our sexual orientations but dependent on our faith and desire to honor and worship God. That is what unites us as Christians. I pray that we can look at each other through God’s eyes, who loves his children unconditionally and equally. It is not a love that depends on us, but on God. Thank God!
More on that in a future blog.
In Christ,
Merryl Dietz
January 2021
Encouraging the Faith of Others
“Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgement on disputable matters. One man’s faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him.
“One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord. He who eats meat, eats to the Lord for he gives thanks to God and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.
“For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. You then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. It is written:
‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord, ‘every knee will bow before me, every tongue will confess to God’
“So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgement on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way.” Romans 14: 1-13
This is a lot to chew on. In his letter to the Romans, Paul was addressing a specific problem. There must have been a dispute about rules and regulations about food restrictions and Sabbath observations. In those days there were so many rules, some directly received from God, some written by man as if speaking for God. We may think that all this squabbling of which rules were to be followed and which ones could be bent is a moot point for us today but aren’t we often guilty of judging each other in the same way? We would be wise to heed Paul’s words in verse 13 - and stop passing judgement on one another and make up our minds not to put stumbling blocks or obstacles in anyone’s way, impeding their faith.
When we put restrictions on who we welcome into the family of God; based on sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expressions, race, economic status, nationality or any other distinction by which humanity divides people, we are guilty of judgement that is not our right or responsibility. God alone is the judge. Our purpose is to love one another (see Romans 12:9-21) and encourage each other in faith as Paul reminds the Christ followers in Thessalonica, ”Therefore encourage one another and build each other up...” 1Thessalonians 5:11
By turning people away from the body of Christ, we are discouraging their faith. When we do not accept people as they are, for who they are, we are attempting to usurp the authority of God.
“Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” Romans 15:7
Our God desires our devotion, to him and to one another. May we please him in loving others as we love ourselves.
“May the God who gives endurance and encouragement
give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus,
so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify
the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
Romans 15:5-6
Merryl Dietz January 2021
Surprised By Grace
Change....It’s a scary word for a lot of folks. It upsets the comfort of what we’ve always known, always believed and always done. Discomfort often leads to fear, fear can make people angry, and that much more opposed to change. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned over my lifetime, it’s that change happens whether we like it or not. Kids grow up and move away, parents get older and die, houses need painting, downsizing happens to the best of us, people get sick, move away, grow apart. Nothing in this life is static. We all live with change but when we’re walking with the Lord, it’s not always a bad thing.
Our mission as United Methodists is to make disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world. Transformation denotes change, in a big way. In order to transform anything, change needs to take place. If we stay the same, there is no transformation and the work of Jesus doesn’t get done.
The bible is loaded with stories of transformation and change. From the earliest stories of Abram and Sarai traveling to a far off land and receiving new names along the way, to the transformation of 12 ordinary men into the first evangelists of the Gospel, God is in the business of changing people and circumstances in order to bring his kingdom into our midst.
The past ten months have seen so much change in our world. You might say that almost everything has had to change to accommodate the safety measures we’ve been asked to abide by, in our attempts to ‘flatten the curve’ of the pandemic. It’s mindboggling how much has changed in just under one year and very unsettling to think about when or if we will ever see ‘normal’ again. But then again, what is normal and why do we humans believe that things can and will always stay the same? See above; change always happens.
Which brings me to the point of this message. If God is in the business of change, why are we so afraid of it? Let’s think for a minute about the role of the Holy Spirit in our world.
“We believe the church needs to pray for a sensitivity to be aware of and to respond to manifestations of the Holy Spirit in our world today. We are mindful that the problems of discerning between the true and fraudulent are considerable, but we must not allow the problems to paralyze our awareness of the Spirit’s presence; nor should we permit our fear of the unknown and the unfamiliar to close our minds against being surprised by grace.”
-The United Methodist General Conference
Surprised by Grace – I love that phrase. It makes me think of Matthew, the sinful tax collector being called into ministry; the woman caught in adultery being set free from a certain fate of stoning; Peter who denied Jesus three times while he was being tried and beaten, going on to be the Rock upon which Jesus built his church! Talk about being surprised by Grace!
I believe that too often, we Christians are afraid to allow the Holy Spirit to take us by surprise and lead us in a different direction than the one we’ve always gone. Its uncomfortable, fear producing, sometimes making us angry and ready to run the other way rather than face change of any sort. (Think of Jonah) But I ask you to consider this; think of what it must have been like to be Matthew or the adulterous woman or Peter. Think about what it means to be surprised by Grace. Conceptions and beliefs that we’ve always held onto are turned upside down and sometimes inside out. That’s what Grace does, it causes us to think differently, it changes our minds and our hearts. Grace is not to be feared. When we are surprised by Grace, we need to embrace it, because it’s from God’s Holy Spirit, drawing us closer into His heart, and causing us to think in new ways about the people around us. To look at things we’ve ‘always known’ through a different lens. When we peer through the lens of Grace, we see people as Jesus sees them. His creations, his children, his heart.
So, the next time you see someone who looks or acts differently than the people you are familiar with, stop before you judge or dismiss them. Instead, pray for God’s Holy Spirit to change your heart and grant you the power to love them as Jesus would, through the eyes of Grace.
Peace,
merryl
Hubris: excessive pride or self-confidence; arrogance.
Whenever I read stories of Jesus’ interacting with the Pharisees, I wonder how they could be so blind and ignorant to Jesus’ true identity and authority. How could they stand there and condemn the Son of God for his behavior? How could they be so full of their own knowledge and self aggrandizement?
Who were the Pharisees really? They were the religious men of Jesus’ time who held the power in the religious and social constructs of their day. They were proficient in ‘the law’ of God and of men. They knew the scriptures; what was acceptable behavior and what was against God’s will. Jesus was always butting heads with these men. They believed they knew everything. Hubris was their sin.
One has to wonder, if Jesus were standing among us today, would he be pleased by what he saw and heard? In His day, he walked among the poor and the outcast, the disenfranchised. They were the poor in spirit that Jesus spoke of in His famous Sermon on the Mount.
These were the people who knew they were desperately In need of a savior. The Pharisees – they thought they had it all together. They did not believe, need or recognize Jesus, in fact his very presence was a crisis which threatened their very livelihood and authority. Some were changed by encountering Jesus, but most were not. We all Know what happened….
About five years ago, in an effort to come to terms with a ‘crisis’ in my life, I attended a conference in Kansas City of The Reformation Project. You see, my 18 year old son had come to his father and I the previous year, with the news that he is gay. This was, for me, a spiritual crisis, triggered by the realization that everything I thought I knew about my son and about scripture was in question. How could this young man, who accepted Christ as a child, be gay? Why would God do this to my child? I never thought it was a choice, he said he had struggled for years praying to God to make him straight.
So here I was in Kansas surrounded by hundreds of LGBTQ persons worshipping God with everything they had. Many of these folks had been cast out of their own churches but in this safe space they were free to be themselves and worship Jesus. I had conversations and made new friendships with young men who’s own parents had thrown them out. My heart was broken for them and I was confronted with my own sin of Hubris. I had studied the scriptures for years and was sure that I knew those scriptures backward and forward! I was confident in my knowledge of what was acceptable and what was against God’s will. Or was I?
Could God be using my crisis to break me of my own self confidence and pride? I began to reread scripture from the perspective of the people I was meeting and coming to love and felt God saying to me, “now you’re getting closer to my Heart.”
What if the Pharisees of our day, whose interpretation of the scriptures exclude the very people that Jesus included, are wrong? What if when we get to Heaven we are asked how well we loved the people on the margins? I would like to be able to say that I erred on the side of love, including all of God’s children in the good news of Jesus Christ. Am I cured of my sin of hubris? By no means; I’ll say that I’m a recovering Pharisee. And I am grateful that God broke my heart for what breaks his.
How’s your heart? Would Jesus be pleased with what’s inside?
“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Matthew 25:40
Merryl Dietz
12/2020